Chapter 11
" 1657 "
The Late great singer songwriter Dan Fogelberg wrote a song that topped the charts in the 1980's called the "The Leader Of The Band". In my humble opinion one of the kindest and greatest songs a son could ever write and dedicate to his dad. Before he died recently, the songwriter and storyteller Fogelberg when asked, said this song cemented his relationship with his earthly father. " There was nothing else to say to show him how I truly felt about him . This song said it all." Fogelberg was quoted long after his dad had passed away. Every time I hear the beautiful lyrics and melody of this touching arrangement gentle tears tugged from my heart and fall from my eyes. 
I would like to share a couple of these lyrics now with you to show you what I mean. Fogelberg sings " I thank you for your music and your stories of the road. I thank you for the freedom when It came my time to go. I thank you for your kindness and the times when you got tough. And Pappa I don't think I told you that I love you near enough." If someone was to ask me what I would say about my Dad . Probably, if I really think about it now, it would go something like that. About five years ago I wrote my first book. "Writings of A Christian Madman at 40." (By the way you can go to www.christianmadman.com to read some of it if you like.) . Well, anyway, one of the chapters is called "My Dad." Some who read this chapter loved it. Some, who read it were really angry. Some, spoke to me in person or wrote me and said that they had the same relationship with their earthly fathers. And were grateful to know that others went through the same things I shared in that chapter. Whatever the response, I learned one thing that I didn't expect through all of the fun, excitement and turmoil. And that is this: even until today I am still misunderstood of how I truly feel about the man whose name I have carried everyday for my 45 years of life. That is why I am writing this chapter to let the world know exactly how I feel and what is truly in my heart. And that is this; that everyday of my life I have loved my Dad. There is no other man in the world that I think so highly of, than he. My Dad is a great man. A man who dedicated his life to raising six children. I cannot count how many baseball and football games, track meets, wrestling matches and school plays he graciously attended. My brothers and sister and I are fortunate to have been blessed by God with my Dad's time and love. During the past five years I have come to terms with the fact that things ‘are the way that they are’. And people, well people can only give what they can give. God has taught me to look at others with love instead of looking at them in judgment. My Dad did the best he could. He gave what he had in his heart. He always would say to me something that went like this.” Son, you will like some of the things that I gave to you. You will like some of the things that I did for you. Take those things with you and learn from them. So that when you are a Dad you will follow what you liked about me and change which you didn't for your children" then he would add; “This way each generation gets a little better and grows in love and guidance” Words of wisdom, words of truth, words that have 
stayed with me over the past 40 years or so. I am really okay now with the way the things are between my dad and I. God has given me peace about where my dad and I are in each others life. I think of him everyday. I think of him throwing the baseball with me when I was six. Or walking with me on the beach of Wildwood, New Jersey while the waves gently crashed around us. Or when I watch a New York Giants football game on television and see the N.J. State Troopers lining the field for crowd control.(And for me and my siblings there were none greater than the one who wore badge number 1657.) These and many other things make me think of my dad with a smile. Sometimes when I look at pictures of myself now, I see him in me. The resemblance is kind of uncanny. Both in the sense of physical and in presence. Whatever it may be I still see him and it makes me feel good inside. There is a scene in the Walt Disney movie ,"The Lion King." It is the one where Simba is feeling kind of lost about the direction of his life and where it is going. Then the maturing lion looks to the sky for direction where then a figure appears of his deceased father, Muffassa. "His dad then begins to speak to him, "Simba, you have forgotten who you are. You have forgotten where you came from. You are my son," Muffassa caringly roars out as the music and all its emotion bring us to a staggering and emotional halt. Although animated, it’s so true, not just for the lion king Simba, but many of us also if we are honest about it. There are some of you today who are disappointed with your earthly dads. You wanted to be loved more, called more; even supported more throughout your life by the man who helped give you life. There are so many of you out there now who live in anger, destroying your inner spirit because you are not willing to forgive those who have hurt you. I understand your pain, but I also believe it is time to move on. It is time to really look at ourselves and see that we are hurting the precious days that God has given us. One of the ways that God has helped me come to terms with this situation in my life is to try and understand why people are the way they are. To understand where someone is coming from takes love, God's love. If we truly take the time to understand why someone is, the way they are, helps us not react in hate but in love. And just because others may not show love the way we show love doesn't make them a bad person. Sometimes we have to look really hard to see that someone is doing the very best that they can. Sometimes, when we can finally get to that truth, we not only set them who have hurt us free, we set ourselves free. All the years of anger and hurt. All the years destroying our inner peace, all the years of letting the devil have his way can be washed away through the words of understanding and forgiveness. If you think what I am asking you to do here is easy, well no disrespect here, but you are crazy. Crazy in the sense that this will take all of God's love and grace to help you through it. But there is hope and there one who understands all you have been through. His name is Jesus Christ. Ask the Lord to replace the hate within your heart with His love. Ask Him, while you are praying to see others as he sees you, with mercy and grace and forgiveness. See if you don't feel better inside right away. Haven't too many years gone by already? Haven't too many wasted moments of joy been missed? The time is now my friends, the time is now. I would like to close this chapter now by dedicating it to my dad, Alfred Thomas Petrecca Sr. by sharing with you one more line from the song "Leader of the Band." It goes something like this. "The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old. But his blood runs through my instrument (Pen), and his song is in my soul. My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man. I am just a living legacy to to the leader of the band. I am just the living legacy to the leader of the band." For me there is only one Al Petrecca and he is you dad, # 1657.
I Love You, Always did, Always will. Your son, Alfred Jr.