Chapter 4
If I Could Write A Letter To Me
If I could write a letter to me now and send it to me when I was 18 years old the first thing I would say to myself back then is this.” Hi Al, it is you at 44 years of age and I am trying to help you by sending this letter. I know you think that this is crazy but what I am about to tell you will save you much pain and sorrow in your life. You have a choice here to be stubborn as usual but if you listen I will give you some of the
secrets that I have learned through the breaking process called life. If you want to make sure it is me and not some imposter here are two things that will give you no doubt that it is. First, don't worry about the Dallas Cowboys winning another Super bowl for 12 more years and don't put to much stock in losing your hair. You'll shave it all off, whatever is left anyway, in your mid 30's and it will look good and you will have peace with it. And by the way if this is not enough proof that it is truly you at 44, why don't you get rid of that girly magazine under your bed now hidden in those boxes so mom doesn't see! That kind of stuff corrupts the mind and soul boy, hope that solidifies the deal for you. Love ya Al" Well now that is how I would start the letter. I guess building credibility isn't a bad thing when you come to think about it. I would then write to myself the following words. I know you are scared right now. High school is almost over and you are pretty un-clear of where you are heading. It is a scary time for you Al. I know you are happy with Mary your first girlfriend now but she will eventually break your heart very badly and leave you in college. But stay with her as long as your time allows. She eventually will teach you that believing in yourself is good. And without her you would have never gone to college and got your degree. When she is gone, remember Al, she will not come back. God has someone else to replace her. You will meet another Girl named Kristine and fall in love with her and marry her when you are 26 years of age. Your marriage will only last 3 years but go ahead and marry her anyways because you will have two beautiful children with her. Their names will be Zachary and Cole, and Al ,through all the pain they will be great loves of your life and give you a reason to live in great times of difficulty and tragedy. Although you and Krissy will not talk with one another for a while after your divorce you will both become great friends and look out for each other in the end. You will then remarry again in your late 30's to a girl ironically named Mary. You will have twins with her and they will bring joy to your life. I cannot tell you how things will work out Al. Mainly because you are in the middle of this marriage currently but I will tell you that Mary is beautiful and that you will have many good times with her. Stay away from her mother. She doesn't like you and you won't like her. But that is ok, God will keep her far enough away from you to at least make it 6years. Well, the rest is in the hands of the Lord. Did I say Lord. Yes I did. You know the kids that you make fun of in school. The ones you call Jesus Freaks now Al! Well, let me tell you that you will become one of them in your mid 30's. You will give your life to the Lord and become saved and love to read the word of God. Yes, Al you prideful, self sustaining, know it all teenager will become a Born Again Christian. And you will write books that glorify God and not your all so important self. I know that is hard for you to comprehend right now and you chuckle, but it is true. Jesus will be the Lord of your life and you will come to know him in a way that is beautiful and caring. But right now you cannot accept that because you think you know better. But you will find out fortunately or unfortunately the hard way because your stubborn pride and lack of God awareness will cause much hardship in the years to come. God will use all these circumstances to break you and you will serve him the remaining years of your life. So go on and make the decisions you will make today and tomorrow. Because each one of these things has to happen for you to become broken of yourself and live for God. I wish I could tell you something easier, something different but it wouldn't matter anyway. You wouldn't listen Al. You are just not ready even if you witnessed all these events on film. Your Pride is way to strong right now but one day things will be different. By the way, before I go and finish this letter to me, well you, well you know what I mean by now. I want you to do 2 things for me today Al. I want you to go downstairs and hug your Dad. Tell him you love him and that one day you will be friends with him. He did his best for you
you at 44